Do you struggle to feel confident while speaking English? What other areas of your life do you feel insecure in?
In this episode, Jackie and Foster talk about how they’ve dealt with a lack of confidence in certain areas of their lives and what helped them overcome this. They share personal stories about times when they lost their sense of confidence as well as stories about how they gained confidence in unexpected situations.
What about you?
- Do you consider yourself a confident person?
- What does it mean to be confident? When you think of a confident person, who do you think of?
- In which situations do you feel confident?
- In which situations do you feel insecure?
- What talents, skills or other attributes are tied to your confidence? If these were taken away from you, how would you feel?
Additional Notes:
Confirmation bias – When you have a thought and then you subconsciously look for “proof” to back up that thought. When this happens, and it happens A LOT, we believe that thought as if it were a fact. It’s important to be aware of this and check yourself if you tend to fall into negative thought patterns. One way of keeping yourself and your thoughts in check is by asking yourself these 4 questions.
Byron Katie’s questions to help you check if your thought is true or not:
- Is this thought true?
- Can you absolutely know it’s true?
- How do you react when you believe that thought?
- Who would you be without that thought?
*Bonus tip! Turn the thought around. – Choose again! Choose a thought that supports you.
How to feel more confident:
- Don’t believe your thoughts as if they are facts. Choose a different thought or statement that supports you.
- Find mentors to serve as role models in specific situations.
Homework assignment: Pay attention to your thoughts and don’t be afraid to choose a better, more supportive thought. Who are some mentors that inspire you? What tiny perspective shifts can you make to feel more confident?
TRANSCRIPT WITH HIGHLIGHTS
Welcome, everybody, to another episode of Improve Your English, Improve Your Life. I’m Jackie, and I’m here with –
– Foster. Hey, Jackie. Hello, everyone.
Hey, Foster. So, today we’re going to talk about confidence. And this is something that I know I personally struggled with. In general, and especially while speaking another language – I think most people feel less confident when they’re speaking a new language because they can’t express themselves very well, they make more mistakes, and it’s definitely a lesson in humility, that’s for sure. So, Foster, I’m going to ask you, what’s… how do you feel about confidence? Do you consider yourself a confident person? And what was your experience, like, learning Portuguese and, and Spanish? Did you feel confident in certain situations and not confident in others?
to struggle (with something) = “lutar” contra algo, ter dificuldade com algo
– I’m really struggling with this project. Can you help me?
humility = humildade
– Studying a new language teaches us a lot about humility, since we will always make mistakes, especially when we’re beginners.
No, no, no. I would not consider myself a confident person, I think. Hmm. It’s strange because I think you probably received this as well. Like, because we have an audience… like, people… we appear to be more confident than we are, perhaps. But in most areas of my life, I would say that I’m not particularly confident, and especially in the process of learning a new language – at least my first time learning Spanish. That was just a comedy of errors. But then with Portuguese, I was a little more confident. And nowadays, honestly, with my languages, I’m a bit more confident. So it kind of depends on the situation and – and what language I’m speaking, what I’m talking about. Does that make sense?
perhaps = uma maneira um pouco mais formal de dizer “maybe” (talvez)
– If you aren’t busy, perhaps we could go out to dinner tonight.
nowadays = hoje em dia
– Nowadays, with everybody having a cell phone, it’s really to communicate with someone even if you are far away.
Right. Absolutely. Yeah. And I think a lot of people can relate because, like me, you also learned Spanish first. So that was, like, our first time learning a foreign language, which the first time you do anything new, it’s pretty rare to feel confident about it because you’re doing it for the first time and you’re probably not going to be good at it. And I think that’s the hard part. We, we tend to feel good about ourselves and confident in situations that we feel like, “Yes, I’m good at this”. Like, “I’m good at playing soccer” or “I’m good at playing tennis” or things like that. But when we’re the beginner, it’s hard. It’s… it’s a… it’s a blow to our self-esteem. And – and I think especially if you’re the type of person that puts a lot of pressure on yourself and that you worry a lot about what other people might be thinking. And I know I fall into that category for sure.
a blow (to something/someone) = uma pancada, um murro; usamos essa expressão quando queremos falar que algo foi negativamente afetado por outra coisa, como se tivesse metaforicamente “levado um murro”
– The pandemic was a severe blow to many companies, who had to lay off employees or close their doors.
to fall into a category = literalmente “cair numa categoria”, usamos para dizer “algo/alguém se encaixa numa categoria”
– I’m trying to organize my closet, and I think this old shirt falls into the “donations” category
self-esteem = auto-estima
– It’s important to have a healthy self-esteem, but you also have to be careful not to become arrogant.
Yes, I, I also… I think I do both of those things.
Yeah. And, and what I’ve noticed in the past few years that has been helpful for me is… and I don’t know if it’s just getting older, but I don’t care as much as I used to about what other people think of me. And that has been tremendously beneficial in having a higher level of confidence because it comes from me, my confidence comes from within me, not from external factors like other people’s approval or, you know, the judgment from other people.
approval = aprovação
– We need the boss’ approval before we start this project.
Yeah, totally. Okay, Jackie, I have… I already have a million questions I want to ask you about this. Yeah, But I think a good place to start… Can you give me, like, a basic working definition of confidence, what it means to be confident?
a basic working definition = lit. “uma definição básica funcional”. A palavra “working” aqui significa “funcional”
– My computer is not working anymore. I need a working computer, or I can’t do my job.
Yes. And this is such a good question, because a lot of times when we think of a confident person, we think of someone who’s extremely extroverted, who’s very comfortable being the center of attention, who can maybe go on stage and give a presentation. And they seem – to everybody else, they seem to, to be very, very confident. But that’s not always the case. That type of person might be confident, but maybe they’re not. Maybe they’re actually insecure and they’re seeking approval from other people in a way to feel better about themselves. And confidence sometimes can be very quiet and very understated. It’s just that sense of calm and peace with yourself, that you’re okay, you’re okay sitting at the table by yourself. You’re perfectly content or you’re okay standing on stage and, and talking to a group of people. I think a lot of people feel, like, “Oh, well, I’m introverted, so that means I’m not confident” and – and that’s not true.
stage = palco
– The actors looked amazing on the new stage!
seeking = forma ing do verbo “to seek”, que significa “buscar” no sentido de “correr atrás de algo, querer algo”
– I decided to look for a new job because I’m seeking new opportunities.
understated = sutil, sem muita ênfase, discreto
– I think this house has an understated elegance. It’s beautiful, but in a very subtle sort of way.
Yeah. I was trying to think of my own definition of confidence and it’s quite difficult to define confidence without using the word “confident”.
I know.
But I think more or less what you said; I think the key kind of theme for me is being comfortable with yourself, being comfortable in your own skin. That is really the core feature of confidence for me.
to be comfortable in your own skin = lit. “estar confortável em sua própria pele”, expressão idiomática que significa “estar de bem consigo mesmo”
– When I was younger, I didn’t like myself, but now I’m comfortable in my own skin.
core = aqui é o adjetivo, “central”
– We are looking into some core issues we’ve found in the project.
the core feature = a característica central
– Let me show you the core feature of our product, it’s quite incredible!
Yeah, 100%. And – and Foster, how has your journey been? Can you think of times in the past where you felt a very low level of confidence that now you, you would feel much better in those situations? Has there been a bit of a transformation that you noticed? Or has there been anything that has helped you feel more confident?
Yeah, there’s a lot. I can give you… I can give you an example of a situation where I went from being extremely confident and losing all of that confidence. And then the opposite situation where I went from being very not confident to gaining a sense of confidence.
Perfect.
Is that cool with you?
Yes, absolutely.
Okay. A little-known fact that I do not talk about on the Internet very often: When I was younger, in my childhood, I was a very competitive junior golfer. So I literally played golf every day until I was, like, 15. And, essentially, that was, like, my life and identity. And on the golf course, I was super confident because I knew what I was doing, that I was good. I didn’t really have to prove that to anyone else. Like, I knew it intrinsically. I don’t know how familiar you are… How famil-? I don’t know how famil…
a little-known fact = expressão que significa “um fato pouco conhecido”
– A little-known fact about koalas is that they usually sleep between 18 and 22 hours a day!
Familiar.
Put that in the “bastidores”! So, Jackie, I don’t know how familiar you are with the game of golf, but there is this thing called “the yips”. Have you ever heard of this?
No. I know absolutely nothing about golf.
Okay, good for you. So the yips also exist in other sports, but essentially it’s like an involuntary twitch of a muscle. Normally, like, your right hand muscle.
the yips = nome dado à condição onde os músculos da mão sofrem espasmos involuntários
– Golfers often suffer from the yips, but other professionals, like musicians, writers, and baseball players, can have this problem, too.
twitch = um pequeno espasmo
– She was so angry that her eye started twitching.
Okay.
And essentially, it makes the game impossible to play. So this also happens to, like, pitchers and baseball and… Long story short, I got the yips and I couldn’t shake it, and I had to quit golf completely. And the entire trajectory of my life changed. And for, like, two years, I was totally lost and completely not confident with myself.
pitcher = no baseball, é a pessoa que joga a bola para o outro jogador acertar com o taco. “pitchers” é o plural
– Nolan Ryan is considered one of the best pitchers of all time.
I couldn’t shake (something/someone) = expressão idiomática que significa “eu não consegui me livrar de algo/alguém”
– As I was walking down the abandoned street, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being followed.
That’s so interesting. Is that, like… is it a physical thing, like, from overusing, overusing a certain muscle or what’s the cause of it?
overusing = lit. “sobre-usando”, forma ing do verbo “overuse”, que significa “usar além das capacidades” ou “usar além do que é bom ou saudável”
– I think the machine broke because it was being overused.
Honestly, science doesn’t have too much to tell us about it. I mean, it’s got to be, like, mentally connected, like mind-body connection stuff. But it is an involuntary movement of your muscles. So, still today, I cannot hold a golf club without my right hand just, like, going insane. Very strange.
a golf club = um taco de golfe
– Joe has many golf clubs that he likes to use.
going insane = forma ing da expressão “to go insane”, que significa “ficar louco”
– My dog went insane because of the fireworks! He barked so much that I couldn’t concentrate on anything!
Oh, interesting. Well, yeah, that was definitely a big blow, I’m sure, for you and… I mean, it’s almost like, you know, when these professional athletes get injured or a professional singer has, you know, vocal nodules and can’t sing anymore…like, the one thing that you really put a lot of your confidence in, all of a sudden, is gone. And so you have to discover who you are without that.
Precisely. And it’s also a lesson in just not putting all of your eggs in one basket.
to put all your eggs in one basket = lit. “colocar todos os ovos em um (único) cesto”. Expressão idiomática que fala “não ponha todas as suas esperanças em uma única coisa”
– When you invest money, it’s good to have a variety of different kinds of investments, so you don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
Right. That’s a good expression. “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket”.
Yes. It’s just… don’t be too specialized in one thing that you can’t do anything else, I suppose. But anyways, after my golf tragedy, I really started improving in school because my original plan was “I’m just going to go to university and play golf”. But then I was like, “Uh-oh, I actually need to get into college, like, academically”. So I ended up going to a better college and I started studying Spanish and that’s when my language journey started. And, and then years and years and years of trying to build up my confidence in Spanish. And it took a long time, but I learned how to do it. And then that translated into learning Portuguese very quickly and quite competently. So a long way to say that confidence can work both ways.
both ways = lit. “ambas as maneiras” ou “ambas as vias”. Usada aqui para expressar que algo é “de duas vias”.
– It’s not good if just one person talks and the other doesn’t get a chance to. Communication goes both ways.
Absolutely. Yeah. And I think those are two perfect examples of… There’s a thing called “confirmation bias”. I don’t know if you’ve heard of this, but basically, for example, like with – with golf, “I am an amazing golfer. I’m going to go to college on a scholarship for golf and maybe I’ll make a career out of it”. And, and you have all this proof to kind of back that up. You know, all the games that you’ve played really well at and all the praise you’ve received from other people, and then all of a sudden that’s gone. And then you have to kind of figure out like, who are you without that huge piece of yourself? And it was a big piece of yourself that, like, really made you feel good. And that’s amazing that you actually – you kind of turned it around and, and focused on, on your studies, on something else, and that it happened at a young enough age that you were probably more adaptable. You see this happen with people when they’re much older, and I think it is harder to kind of start over again or figure out who you are without that thing that kind of defined you or represented you. But a lot of people go through stuff like that, and it is kind of a good question to ask, like, “What is it that you feel, like, really good about?” You know, like, maybe it’s your career or you’re a really good athlete.
confirmation bias = “viés da confirmação”, conceito que expressa quando uma pessoa tende a interpretar evidências como confirmações de crenças ou teorias que ela já tenha
– When you have confirmation bias, it makes it very difficult for you to be able to accept a contradicting idea.
scholarship = bolsa de estudos
– I got a good scholarship, so I can go to Harvard University! I’m so excited!
Like, what if that was taken away from you? You know, who would you be without that? And, and I think when we ask that question, like, that’s when we figure out like, “Okay, where is my confidence? Is it in me as a person or is it in my ability to do something really well? Or is it in my success? Is it in my… my beauty?” You know, sometimes, especially women who are very, very beautiful, and they get a lot of praise for that. As they get older, naturally, we, we lose our beauty a little bit. It changes. I don’t want to say we lose it. It just changes. We become older. And for, for some people, that’s devastating. You know, they, they feel like their… their value is gone because they aren’t being chased after for being so beautiful anymore. And I think that’s just something that all of us struggle with a little bit, but we have to be okay with ourselves without these external factors. And when you’re okay with yourself, that’s when you are truly a confident person. It’s not easy to get there.
to chase after = correr atrás de algo ou alguém com o intuito de alcançar ou pegar
– The police chased after the robbers for hours before they finally caught them.
Wow. No, that’s deep. Very profound. I have a lot of questions again, Jackie.
First, can you just clarify a bit the concept of confirmation bias? I know you gave us an example, but just to make it really clear for people, can you explain what it is?
Yeah. So this is something that I read about probably a year ago and I know I had heard of it before, but sometimes you hear something and it just isn’t the right time. It just doesn’t sink in. So confirmation bias, for example, let’s say I tell myself “I suck at learning languages”. Okay. Well, I threw that thought out there. And then, subconsciously – a lot of times we don’t even do this on purpose. But subconsciously, I start looking for proof to back up that thought. So I tell myself I suck at learning languages and then I’m going to go back in my history of life and I’m going to pick out all the times that I did poorly on a test, that a teacher told me, you know, I wasn’t good at learning languages, that a student laughed at me when I made a mistake. And we do this on a subconscious level, but all it does is it… it gives that thought more strength.
it just doesn’t sink in = expressão que significa “simplesmente não afunda para dentro”, expressa algo como “a informação simplesmente não entra na cabeça” ou “simplesmente não consigo absorver a informação”
These phrasal verbs just don’t sink in! Can you please help me?
to suck at something = expressão bem informal que significa “ser muito ruim em algo”
– I don’t like math, I really suck at it. Maybe I need a tutor.
to pick out = escolher algo específico de um grupo de coisas
– Janine was so happy that she could pick out a wedding dress from the store. She looked beautiful in it!
Yeah. Yeah. Amplifies whatever feeling…
Yes.
Like, I’m imagining when I’m… when I’m sad and kind of depressed, I have a strong tendency towards a negativity bias. Like, every small thing is, like, so bad. But when I’m happy, everything’s beautiful!
…and, and we all do it. And it’s okay, you don’t want to completely ignore these negative feelings. It’s okay. But it’s good to just question it. And I know Byron Katie has these series of questions where she kind of… and to me, this has been, like, life changing because you look at the, the statement that you’re making, “Okay, I suck at languages”. And basically you ask yourself, “Is this true? Like, is this 100% true?” And if you really question it, you say, “Okay, well, I have all this proof. You know, look, my teacher told me I have a problem with languages, and this kid laughed at me when I opened my mouth and said a word, or I tried to order a coffee and they brought me something different”. So you could say, “Yeah, it’s true”. And then you got to go deeper down. Like, you know, we’ll flip that, that statement around. So I’m actually skipping through a couple of her steps. But if you flip it around and say, “I’m actually really good at learning languages”. And then just try to find the proof to back up that statement and then maybe you’ll think of a time where you actually did okay or you learned something pretty quickly, or you spoke and someone understood you, or you could understand them. And then you have that, that counter-evidence. So, so now you have, like, the proof that… that you’re really bad at learning languages and you also have the proof that you’re actually not so bad. Maybe, maybe there’s something underneath there. But we, we look at things sometimes as very black or white and they are not. You know, and a lot of it is just what we feed. I heard a podcast the other day, a guy was talking about, like, inside of us, there’s two wolves. And which wolf –
Byron Katie = autora e palestrante norte-americana que ensina um método de auto-questionamento com o intuito de ajudar as pessoas a identificar e controlar pensamentos que causam sentimentos negativos
– Can we skip this page? I already did these exercises.
skipping = forma ing do verbo “to skip”, que aqui significa “pular algo”
– Can we skip this page? I already did these exercises.
to flip something around = expressão idiomática que significa “virar algo para outro lado”, ou “inverter”
– Don’t flip this conversation around and blame the problem on me! This is your fault, not mine!
underneath = embaixo de algo
– Hey, help me look for my glasses. I’ll look in the closet, so can you look underneath the bed?
feed = alimentar
– Marcie, don’t forget to feed the dog, ok?
wolves = forma plural de “wolf”, que significa lobo (o animal)
– Be careful, there are a lot of wolves in this forest.
wolf we feed.
Yeah. Grows.
There’s actually a podcast called “The Wolf You Feed”.
Oh, there you go. I love it. But it’s just like, you know, whatever you’re feeding and whatever you’re feeding with your thoughts, with your stories, that’s the one that grows the most. And, and we just have to remember it. There’s always two sides. So everything that we say, there’s, like, a positive and a negative to it. And, and I just think that’s like one, one small step to take. So next time we catch ourselves saying like, “Oh, I’m really bad at this”, or kind of talking to ourselves in a negative way, just observe; be like, “Okay, is this really true? Is this helpful?” And, and for me, I always remember: “Choose again”. This is like a… it’s almost like a message that I get to myself, like automatically, like “Choose again, choose a different perspective”. Rather than telling myself I’m the victim or I’m a martyr or I’m really bad, just “Choose a different perspective that’s going to be helpful”. And once you force yourself to choose again, it’s like this weight is lifted off of you and you just begin to feel lighter and better.
weight = peso
– Peter and Natalie are trying to lose weight together.
lifted = forma past participle do verbo “to lift”, que significa “levantar algo/alguém”
– Can you lift this box for me? It’s too heavy for me.
I love that. That’s beautiful. So we have the two biases of confirmation bias or just like a negativity bias, and then also the bias that I fall into all of the time of black-and-white thinking and then this idea of choosing again, I think those three can be enormously impactful, especially for language learners. But do you have, I don’t know, suggestions, like, actionable things that… So I think for, for both of us, most students that we work with, they give us some version of like, “I’m not confident”. Maybe they don’t say that. Maybe they say “I’m anxious” or “I need to improve my pronunciation”. But essentially what they’re saying is “I’m not confident”.
impactful = adjetivo que significa “cheio de impacto”, ou “que causa impacto”
– This movie was so impactful for me. I loved it.
Right.
What are… what’s the move for those people to improve their confidence?
Well, I think there’s, like, a couple of steps that people can take. I think the first one is just realizing that those negative thoughts or those negative things that we tell ourselves are probably not 100% true. And so just observe it; be, like, “Okay, choose again, pick a different statement”. Rather than saying, “I’m terrible at this”, say “I’m learning” or “I’m getting better at this”. And, and chances are you will definitely find proof to back that up. You are learning and you are getting better and you’re trying your best. You’re stepping outside of your comfort zone. And those are all positive things. Those are all things that you should feel very, very proud of and very good about. The second thing that has been really helpful to me is looking for mentors, like, thinking of people that you admire in very specific situations. So, I remember specifically for me, when I first started my channel and my course launches and all that stuff, going live was terrifying.
to step = pisar
– Be careful where you step, there’s a lot of ice on the ground today.
proud = orgulhoso; “to be proud of someone/something” significa “estar/ser orgulhoso de alguém/algo”
– Wow, your performance was amazing! I’m so proud of you!
to go live = “ir ao vivo”, ou “ir ao ar”
– The website goes live tomorrow, so we need to finish this today!
Going live when no one’s watching?
Yeah, well, no, there was, there was quite a few people watching and I was just like…
Oh, going live for the first time. Okay, gotcha.
gotcha = maneira bem informal de dizer “I got you” no sentido de “eu te entendi”
– “Haley, the IT department said their programmer quit.” “Gotcha. I’ll contact Human Resources so we can hire someone.”
Yeah. Like going live on YouTube or Facebook or Instagram and just the whole technology. And I would have this presentation… I was so nervous. I literally was, like, almost having a panic attack every single time I had to do it.
I still do. That’s why I don’t do it.
It’s… it’s terrifying. And what helped me so much was watching other lives. And, and I remember I participated in… it was like a “stay-at-home” challenge. It was the very beginning of the pandemic with Gavin and Rhavi. And we were doing lives, like, the three of us, like, alternating lives every week. It was just a kind of a way to get people studying and learning English throughout the crazy times. And there was a time when Rhavi went live and he immediately – he had, like, a glass of water. It spilled, like, all over his keyboard. I think the light that was shining on him, like, fell over. It was just a series of events. It was hilarious. And I’m watching this and I, like, was imagining myself in that situation and I probably would have had a heart attack just because that’s, like, how I was. But he just rolled with it. He just laughed about it. It literally was like the best live of all of them because of the way he just didn’t let it bring him down. And, and that was such a lesson to me. I was like, “Yeah, you know, things are going to happen”.
a way to get people studying = essa frase traduz-se para algo como “uma maneira de fazer com que as pessoas estudem”
– How can we get people to buy our lemonade? We need some business strategies.
spilled = forma simple past do verbo “to spill”, que significa “derramar”
– Be careful not to spill any coffee on the table. It’s full of important papers.
fell over = forma passada de “to fall over”, que significar “tombar, cair”
– The tree near our house fell over last night because of the strong winds.
It doesn’t have to be perfect. And before, I was telling myself, like, if it froze or if I had a mistake in one of the slides, like, “Oh, this was terrible. It was a failure”. Like, I literally was telling myself that information. And now, like, after seeing him do this – and I’ve watched a lot of other lives where stuff happens and just watching how people react to it in a really, like, light fun. They’re like, in flow, they’re present, they’re just… in it, interacting with the people watching. That was a tremendous lesson for me and I just… every time I go live, I’m like, “All I want is to just be present. I just want to be, like, in that flow state, I don’t want to be worrying so much about all the little details”. And since then I feel completely relaxed now. I mean, I still get a little bit nervous, but I play some music and I interact with the people watching and, and the whole quality of the live is so much better because I took that pressure off myself.
Yeah. I really love that example.
I don’t even think Rhavi knows how much that, like, changed my life.
It reminds me of, like, all of my favorite performers, like musicians or comedians. They are so good at like, just kind of rolling with it and just being quick on their feet. Like, if a joke doesn’t land, they know how – just how to not take themselves too seriously. I think that’s kind of the big thing with a lot of language learners. It’s not really about you. Like, you don’t have to be so precious about it.
performers = forma plural de “performer”, pessoa que faz alguma coisa para uma plateia, como um dançarino, comediante, músico, etc.
– Buenos Aires sometimes has street performers dancing tango, it’s quite interesting!
to be quick on your feet = lit “ser rápido nos seus pés”, expressão idiomática que descreve alguém que “pensa rápido” ou “age rápido”
– When you have small children, you really have to be quick on your feet; they can cause absolute chaos in just a few seconds!
to be precious about something = expressão idiomática que significa “ser preocupado demais com detalhes” ou “tentando demais ser perfeito”.
– Many brides are too precious about their own weddings, and forget to just enjoy the moment.
Yeah, yeah.
People aren’t going to care too much if you make some mistakes. That could be with language or a live event or anything.
Right. And if anything, you’re more relatable. I think it’s just more real. And, yeah, and again, it’s just kind of like choosing a different perspective, a different way to look at things. And I know when I launched my course, like, earlier last month, I…I was thinking about the wolves, you know, like “Don’t feed the anxious perfectionist wolf. Like, let them go”. And, and I imagined this other wolf with, like, a party hat on. And I’m like, “We’re going to have a party!” Like, “This live is going to be a party, that’s going to be fun!” And it just, like, lifted the mood. And I just had so much fun with it, and nothing else changed except for my perspective of it. So I think a lot of… it’s just internal. It’s all internal. And sometimes we think, like, “Oh, well, when I lose ten pounds or when I get a million followers or when I have a million dollars in my bank, then I will feel more confident”. And that is not the case. It comes from these tiny, like, internal changes, and that affects everything all around us.
That’s beautiful. I’m going to see if I can try to give all of that back to you. If I understood this – let me know where I’m wrong. So, most people think of confidence as something external; like, they’re externally motivated and they’re seeking validation from others. But in reality, confidence is more about being comfortable with yourself.
Yes.
So, essentially just changing the perspective from external confidence to internal comfort and, when in doubt, probably add some humor and don’t take it so seriously.
when in doubt… =expressão equivalente a dizer “na dúvida”
– In the USA, we use “mrs.” for married women and “ms.” for single women; when in doubt, use “ms.”.
Right.
Is that about right?
is that about right? = expressão que significa “é maios ou menos isso?” ou “está mais ou menos certo?”
– “So, you want me to get eggs, milk, bread and cheese. Is that about right?” – “Yes, that’s about right.”
Absolutely. Yeah. Just… we have to lighten up. And, and I think embrace our, our flaws as well. When we make a mistake, just laugh it off, you know, have fun with it. Put on your party hat.
to lighten up = pegar mais leve, não levar algo tão a sério
– You’re so stressed out. I think you need to lighten up a little.
to laugh it off = sem tradução direta no português, expressa algo como “rir de algo de maneira que a coisa não te afeta mais”
– When I spilled juice on my friend’s dress, I thought she would get mad, but she just laughed it off.
Okay, Jackie.
I feel more confident now. Do you have any last words for our audience?
No, I think… I think we covered this pretty well. So, I mean, I guess we could just finish off with the, the homework assignment for those that are looking for some tangible steps. Again, I just would pay attention to your thoughts. And remember, “Choose again”. “This thought is not helping me. Let me… let me choose a different one that supports me and encourages me”.
That’s an important second step. Pay attention to your thoughts. And then don’t listen to them.
And then don’t listen to them if they’re not nice.
Because they probably won’t be at first.
Right. It’s true. It’s true. And then the second thing is, just think of some mentors or certain situations in which you saw people handle a situation that you admired and just try to remember that, visualize that, and eventually, you know, you will embody that in some way. So, real simple things that make a huge, huge difference.
real simple = maneira informal de dizer “really simple”. O “real” pode ser usado com outros adjetivos no lugar de “really”
– I think this is real difficult, but I’ll find a way to do it.
I think that’s a perfect – I think that’s a great way to end it. Thanks a lot, Jackie.
Thank you, Foster. This was a fun one.
This was fun. I feel confident.
Me, too.
Cool. I’ll talk to you in the next episode.
Okay, sounds good. Bye, guys.
